When I first started this master’s program in June 2021, I demonstrated vulnerability and self-awareness, but I do not think I fully understood the concepts as much as I do now after being educated on it through the texts, videos, and discussions with my peers and professors. I often show my feelings and emotions first, especially to my children, even if they will not reciprocate the same feelings back, and that is okay with me. Shortly after starting this degree, my mom passed away quite suddenly, and then my oldest brother (sixteen years older) passed away unexpectedly in his sleep six months later. Unfortunately, this was a harsh reality that half of my family members were no longer with me, and I started making a point to use the extra time I was now spending with my two remaining brothers how I felt about them. I made a point to tell them I loved them when I had not before, and just talking more about everyday life with my younger brother about our children and spouses. My younger brother and I tackled some difficult emotional tasks when getting our mom’s house ready for sale and settling the estate in general. After that experience, I know that we can come together and be there for each other in any situation. That realization has been extremely rewarding.
Since starting this leadership program, I have recognized through my relationship with my second husband that there are behaviors I need to work on which caused a lot of turmoil in my first marriage. This has been hard for me to admit and recognize, but with the love and understanding of my current husband, it has been necessary for me to move forward with better relationships with my family members. This program has opened my eyes to different qualities about me as a person, good and bad. For that, I am incredibly grateful and look forward to further lessons down the road.
In my professional life, I show lots of service to my various co-workers in quite simple ways like emailing when a package arrives for them, offering to assist with a task if they are busy, assisting them with a tech question, or just helping open a door for them. I think that all these simple gestures over time have strengthened our relationships as many of my co-workers are like family. Some of them I have worked with for at least fifteen years. The trust levels are also remarkably high, which helps feed into other areas at work.
Group work and collaboration is a big part of my work as a library assistant as a member of various clusters/committees. The way our various groups work together and communicate also helps initiatives happen. I have noticed that in the last few years as I have shown courage in speaking out more during meetings and asking questions for clarification, other co-workers of mine have commented on my ideas and recognized my abilities more than in the past. My self-confidence has improved and shows more when I am struggling with something I do not understand, allowing me the ability to reach out for assistance without feeling embarrassed. I also believe that in team settings, we all tend to feed off each other, especially when someone steps up to take a lead. It is very encouraging for the rest of us in the group to want to support them.
This leadership program has given me the opportunity and the ability to evaluate these concepts and the application of them within my life on various levels, professionally and personally. I have learned a lot and will continue to do so in the next year.
References
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House.
[Leadskill]. (2020, May 4). Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence – What it is and how to improve it [Video]. YouTube. Self Awareness and Emotional Intelligence – What it is and how to improve it